A slight sojourn into the realm of clinically clean
Well last week i was suffering from a mild cold... (which my girlfriend so happily dubbed 'boy-flu') then later on the cold became more like someone had decided to kick me in the balls... repeatedly... i was rather concerned about that... images of ball surgery and nicknames like lefty and ol one nut came to mind. so i went to my GP. She decided i had clahmidia... how nice of her. so she did like every doctor in this country does and prescribed antibiotics and sent me home. i swear to god med school these days just tells docs to be to prescribe antibiotics and send ppl home.
I happen to be one of the few ppl i know whos chances of clamidia (sp)are small to nill. so i went home. later that day i decided after crawling around on the floor and wondering if i could possibly tie myself up into an even tighter faetal position that i should seek a second opinion. i staggered down the road to the drop in clinic and waited around there for a half hour of agonizing writhing on an examination table. the nurse there was a very special form of indecisive useless.
Eventually they called an ambulance. i got stapped in an whisked away to the Accident and Emergency. O happy o joy. Now to start the 4 session of pocking and prodding from another medical person. it was pretty obvious my pain was... uncommon. At least for me it was. The hot Aussie doctor tho was helpful and diagnosed Renal cholic... which sounded kinda scary... then she said it was also known as kidney stones... and thats why i kept trying to find ways to contort myself so i could have a good look at my own anus.
Let me stop here and say... morphine is a medical marvel. and my friend.
well 2 days later... a number of physical dignities destroyed (yes i was the subject of a group of undergrad med students and their resident doc playing with my nuts in public... not to mention my nuts werent sore anymore). BUT large doses of Voltarol and Tramadol (synthetic morphine) and a nice saline drip kept me well ensconsed in my own fantasy ER episode. 2 days later i am home.
Im high as a kite and hold my drugs close to my heart. until the little shit of a stone passes i think i will hold on to those pills of pleasure.
Hospital food sucks as always tho. its nice that there are a few dependable things in life.
Well at least i get a week of work paid and all the bed i could ever dream of having! yay!
see ya later...
I happen to be one of the few ppl i know whos chances of clamidia (sp)are small to nill. so i went home. later that day i decided after crawling around on the floor and wondering if i could possibly tie myself up into an even tighter faetal position that i should seek a second opinion. i staggered down the road to the drop in clinic and waited around there for a half hour of agonizing writhing on an examination table. the nurse there was a very special form of indecisive useless.
Eventually they called an ambulance. i got stapped in an whisked away to the Accident and Emergency. O happy o joy. Now to start the 4 session of pocking and prodding from another medical person. it was pretty obvious my pain was... uncommon. At least for me it was. The hot Aussie doctor tho was helpful and diagnosed Renal cholic... which sounded kinda scary... then she said it was also known as kidney stones... and thats why i kept trying to find ways to contort myself so i could have a good look at my own anus.
Let me stop here and say... morphine is a medical marvel. and my friend.
well 2 days later... a number of physical dignities destroyed (yes i was the subject of a group of undergrad med students and their resident doc playing with my nuts in public... not to mention my nuts werent sore anymore). BUT large doses of Voltarol and Tramadol (synthetic morphine) and a nice saline drip kept me well ensconsed in my own fantasy ER episode. 2 days later i am home.
Im high as a kite and hold my drugs close to my heart. until the little shit of a stone passes i think i will hold on to those pills of pleasure.
Hospital food sucks as always tho. its nice that there are a few dependable things in life.
Well at least i get a week of work paid and all the bed i could ever dream of having! yay!
see ya later...
posted by Marcus Dunning at 8:48 pm
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