The small things in life really do help you appreciate how vile it is.

I just experienced awe and self disgust at the same time. i think this may be a first for me... o... well the incident with 'mad brains' doesnt count.

I was walking by a coworkers pit (cunningly disguised as a semi cubicle) and happened to notice they were in possession of a VERY fancy and shiny envelope holder. It has 5 tiers, space for the myriads of types of A4 A5 and standard letters we stuff with crap on a daily basis. Now this shiny stationary marvel turned me green with envy while at the same time committing an equivalent to Crohns disease in my chest cavity. Self loathing bile tastes particularly vile... moreso than the bile resulting from double tequila double vodka redbulls in a dodgy pub called The Plowmans Runaway Redheaded Stepson.

The realization i would wish ill will on someone so i may appropriate their envelope organizer was a wake up call i didnt need before my second cup of vending machine espresso. Another sad thing is, i am not the only one. These highly prized items of office paraphernalia arent easily come by and people actually bequeath them to friendly coworkers upon their passing onto a better life.

I think i need a new job.