Equinox Eventuality

Its with a heavy heart that i post this.

Last weekend qtip and i agreed to part ways. We decided/acknowledged that we just dont have the ability to make each other happy anymore. Thats a very short and non descriptive statement for the biggest decision of my/our life but there it is. At this time i dont really feel comfortable spilling the sob story out in text like so much chum. But at the very least its as amicable a breakup as I suppose is possible given our history and lives together. There is deep sadness loss and fear floating with the dust in the air of the flat but when it settles i sincerely hope with all i have left to hope with that we are close friends and confidantes.

I hold no delusions that this won't take time and patience. We both still love eachother though. Until i manage to find a place of my own we will have a strange limbo in togetherstill/nottogetheranymore-land. So the sooner I move out the sooner we can both get back to being good friends. Or so I hope. I am going to look at a flat on friday and sincerely hope its lovely and nice with lots of light and big windows.

Heres a tangent for you... i think my sojourne as a hobbit/underground dwelling creature back in canada really did a bit of damage to my psyche. Mind you that entire year my psyche threatened to take leave. Since then I found myself subconsciously actively seeking out big windows to sit in and live with. Not necessarily to look out of although i too enjoy a spot of people watching/perving on hotties, but just to be near light. The flat before the one I am in now (and soon to leave) was light and airy and bright and cheery. This present flat is less so. I find it greyer and it has more shadows. not to mention its colder. So hopefully the new flat will be better.

well thats an update for ya.

p